When I wrote & published my first full novel back in 2013, I never thought about where I would be four years later. So much in my personal life has changed since then, not to mention how I've grown emotionally following my autism diagnosis, and one of the things I've learned how to do in that time is to let go when it's time.
I've never written for anyone except myself. The stories I wrote all contain a piece, or many pieces, of me, and none of them would be what they are if they hadn't come from me. But I published to make money, to earn something from these stories in my heart, in order to make it through life, and in some ways, doing so has turned the writing that heals my wounds into a stressful job. Into something I do because I "have to" instead of for the pure joy of it.
I've thought about this for over a year. In fact, I almost stopped publishing last year but I kept on because it was the only source of money I had. In truth, things aren't better financially for me, but I can't write like this and I surely can't publish things not worth publishing just to make a buck. I don't write to market, never have, and I won't start now.
And I'm not going to whine. I'm not going to tell you all the reasons why I'm stepping away. I'm not going to draw attention to myself with absurd antics, or discount my books before pulling them down from all retailers. No, see, my books aren't going anywhere. They'll be there, for the next reader to discover, and I really hope they are loved by many.
But me...I'm going to find something else to do. I'm going to spend time with my family and let what will be, be. I'm letting go because it is too painful to remain holding on any longer in this business. And If...one day...I manage to finish writing another book, I'll publish it quietly on retailers and on this site for all of you, my readers. Because you've been so supportive all these years and I thank you for that, with all my heart. It means more to me than I can ever, ever convey.
Otherwise, I really hope the rest of your year is fabulous, and that each year after that is better than the last and you continue to find lots of amazing books to enjoy.
Thank you for reading.